Pastoral Care in Response to Domestic and Intimate Violence

Violence within familial systems is an issue which many facets of the “system” are endeavoring to manage. The primary institutions responsible for controlling this problem are secular authorities but religious institutions have their responsibility in handling these problems as well. The reason for this responsibility would be the theological basis through which many of these behaviors are justified. Secular law from it’s earliest know incarnation (Hammurabi’s Code) has allowed male heads of households to treat their family members as little more than chattels, to be disciplined as seemed best in their eyes. Religious tradition supported this understanding over the centuries and in some traditions continues to support such thinking.

Although religious tradition is one contributing factor to the problem it is not the only extant factor. Psychological traumas oftentimes lead to violent reactions and this, when observed by family members or victims of such abuse can lead to inherited aberrant behaviors which can be passed from generation to generation. Alcohol and drug use can contribute to family violence as can stresses and issues outside the home. All of which in turn can cause violent reactions in the abuser within the home.

Pastoral response should be guided first and foremost by the laws of the land. Far to often religious leaders have allowed their congregants to continue violence in the home for reasons that are unjustifiable; the acceptability of such action by the dictates of ones faith, the hope that the situation can resolve itself through prayer or some other form of divine intervention, the misguided desire to keep familial units intact, and other manifestations of the patriarchal paradigm. Secular authority have done much to remedy this horror by limiting ecclesial confidentiality in such matters in hopes of encouraging pastors to report such violence to proper authorities, particularly in situations where children are involved. In many situations the pastor could find him or herself charged as an accomplice if they fail to report the crime to the proper authorities.

Ecclesial response in situations of domestic violence is clear-cut. If children, elders, or the disabled are involved the religious leader should immediately contact the secular authorities, stand aside, and let the legal system respond. In situations where the victim is less vulnerable the pastoral councilor should strongly encourage the victim to contact secular authority, leave their environment for a shelter which specializes in caring for victims of family abuse, and contact a psychological professional.

Family violence is far too dangerous and volatile a situation to allow non-specialists to attempt to resolve, no matter how noble their intentions.