Turning Points

I can identify a number of turning points in my life.  The first that comes to mind is my parents divorce.  This seemingly personal event, between the two of them, has had ramifications in my life far beyond the initial pain caused by their parting.  Much of the loss of faith I experienced in my late teens can be traced to their divorce.  Things never seemed to right in my childhood home after its foundation had been shook asunder.

I found that many of the relationships that I carried on with members of the opposite sex were tainted by my parent’s failures.  I had a terrible time trying to keep the practices that had destroyed their marriage out of my relationships.  Other times, in an effort to prevent its influences from overwhelming me I would overcompensate, which would cause problems of its own.

Another difficult turning point in my life was my discharge from the US Army.  I joined the military not so much out of conviction but, as a form of rebelliousness against my parents.  I walked the path that they would never have chosen for me out of anger and resentment over their parting.  I hoped to carve out a life for myself and deliberately chose the opposite of everything my parents stood for.  I was in the Army, I was a registered Republican, and I even supported Ronald Reagan.  And, my parents were sad, angry, confused and blamed themselves.  The very same situation I had found myself in after their divorce.

I did not hack it out in the Army even 2 years.  I was stationed in Germany after the training phase of my enlistment.  This was in 1983 during the time when Ronald Reagan was positioning Medium Range Ballistic Missiles in Western Europe despite the overwhelming opposition of the European citizens.  I started talking to my fellow soldiers about the ramifications of the policy.  I sent off for some literature from a grassroots activist group in the U.K.  I spoke to the Army Chaplain assigned to the base where I was stationed.  I was once again in touch with my roots.  The Me that I had been raised to be was bubbling to the surface as the pain over my parents splitting was passing.

This resulted in my name and number popping onto the Commanding Officer’s radar, a place I did not want to be.  I now had to pay the price for exhibiting my convictions.  I was singled out for special treatment, remedial training, strict discipline, and other unpleasantness.  I had my rank stripped away, my pay taken, and was treated like a traitor.  Rather than let me out the elected to keep me around as an example to others.  I was tormented for 6 months with hard labor, public humiliation, and physical abuse.  When the Command Staff felt I had served their purposes I was discarded like a piece of refuse.

I look back on this experience now and I can recognize it for the transformational period that it was.  I am grateful for the experience since it tempered my being.  It solidified the values and convictions of my youth and I have never looked back.  But, while it was happening it was hell-on-earth and I thought it was never going to end.